Well the last month has been pretty eventful. Looking back over last year I realise I did spend a lot of it with varying levels of back pain... mostly just a niggling pain but in December I had a very, very painful episode. Five days and nights without any sleep - not able to sit or lie down.. until I finally got some painkillers that worked.
I was determined not just to take the painkillers so tried to find a physiotherapist who would help me get my back into shape. No physios would see me without a referral from a doctor so I finally found a doctor who would send me for physiotherapy rather than just dole out pain killers and other mind altering medication. I consulted a spinal specialist who explained exactly what my problem was - which was all sounding great and sensible - until he then told me that I needed surgery to avoid becoming permanently paralysed.
It was a huge shock for me as I have never had any serious illness or need for hospitalization. I found myself getting very very scared about having general anesthetic and anxious about having to stay in hospital but after listening to the surgeon and seeing the x rays I came to the decision that I would rather risk the surgery than risk being paralysed.
I had lost one disc - between L5 and S1 and the two vertebrae had fused in bad position - restricting the spinal cord (numb toes and other symptoms) - and was about to lose the disc above. The operation consisted of separating L5 and S1 and inserting a new plastic disc and replacing the disc above and then building a framework of titanium bolts to hold my spine in place...
The doctor (surgeon) had said that I would be out of bed in 3 days and home in 5... but then he had to go off to France after my operation (to do an operation there) and the staff at the clinic would not let me get out of bed without his say so. This meant that I was in bed for an extra few days.... raring to go but not able to move as I had a drain, a catheter and a drip in. Finally the doctor came back from France, expressed surprise to see me still in bed and set things in motion. On the Sunday (I had the operation on 22nd January) I was finally allowed out of bed.
What a shock it was to find that first of all I could not stand up without just about fainting - all the blood rushing to my feet - and then when I got my body used to a vertical position to find myself so weak.. barely able to shuffle from one side of the room to the other. Lying in bed I had felt so strong. In my head I was ready to leap out of bed and resume normal life. It took a while to come to terms with the fact that that was just not going to happen.
I have been home for 2 weeks now... I have been back to the clinic three times to have my dressing changed and stitches removed (I think I still have more stitches to come out) and everyone is very pleased with my progress. I am trying hard to take things easy, not push myself too hard or far and ask for help and looking forward to the time when I can get back out into the hills with the dogs.
At the moment I can walk (slowly and for shortish distances) get up and down stairs, in and out of chairs and bed, drive (none of which I could do last week) - but I still can't bend down or carry anything heavier than a cat.
I am not experiencing any back pain - apart from what you would expect from having a large wound on your lower spine - but have been surprised at the pain in my right hip and leg (now cleared up). The doctor says this is the pain he has given me. After all this time of moving around with a spine out of balance and in poor lordosis my leg muscles and joints are finding it hard work to adjust to the newly balanced me!
In the meantime Mo is doing his best - both with me and the dogs.
It has been a really good learning experience.. .okay not one I would want to repeat or recommend (unless you have similar back problems) but I think I have learnt a lot from it - eg I have a lot more empathy with my dad and understand how frustrated he must feel at the difference between what he thinks he can or should be able to do and what he finds he can do.
I have to say the whole general anesthetic thing was scary ... I felt quite calm going into the operating theatre - surprisingly to me but I think I had all the fright and nerves when I first found out about the operation - but had a major fright when the actual moment came. The staff were working around me getting ready for the operation and the anesthetist put a mask above my face and told me to breathe and that I would fall asleep... Believe me it was nothing like falling asleep. I was aware of someone doing something with my hand and was breathing in the gas when all of a sudden I found I couldn't breathe. I had a moment of sheer panic - trying to shout out that I was still awake but not able to breathe and only managed to drop my arm over the side - which was promptly put back... then I felt air being pushed into me and I relaxed and then I woke up in the recovery room with the surgeon looking very pleased with me.
I should add that I was very lucky to end up here in Morocco with an internationally renowned expert surgeon to hand. Though time will tell exactly how successful the operation has been, I do not think I would have fared better in the UK. I know a lot of French people come to Morocco to have this surgery performed by Dr Chliyah. The nursing practice may not have been up to the standards in the UK but they were all very kind and caring.
Anyway that is what I have been up to the last couple of months and here I am ready to start life as hazel v.2.0
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| 17 stitches in all |
